I have this friend who's very hard to deal with. We've been close friends for 4 years, and we've fought many times already. Of course it's not all her fault, I have my share of "mistakes", but she's not loyal when I try to make it up, I mean, she never recognizes having behaved meanly and I end up labeled as the childish one.
I've been patient because I believe people are complex, but this is both a strength and a weakness: you never know the limit beyond which people simply take advantage of your being understanding.
Because of that "limit" I became anxious in this relationship, sometimes fighting to set my boundaries, sometimes going home feeling betrayed, many times simply giving up the places where I normaly meet her.
Last week I was able to put an end to her narcisistic, control game. It was her birthday party and she was annoyed because I didn't give her all my attention. Next day she loaded me with whatsapp messages, which I didn't read immediately because I was working. She, then, started engaging other people in the drama, which got me mad.
Although being very upset, I was understanding once more and decided to hear what she had to say. I found out she was desperate because of one of the audio messages sent, which I hadn't listened to. She said she regreted having said those things, because they were related to personal issues I had shared during these years of friendship and that I would feel very bad with the "truths" in the message.
This moment I came up with a checkmate: I deleted the message without listening to it, and printscreened it to prove she had nothing to say I'm sorry to. Oh, she got so frustrated! I know all she wanted was to keep the guilty game of control freaks!
They call it "nascisistic supply" in psyche studies, and I have cut the supply! I'm really proud of myself because I finally saw the opportunity and haven't missed it!