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Leandro.Oka

Climate change

This is my first essay here on the OPLingo website and I'd like to improve my writing for an academic test.

Climate change is one of the critical issues discussed currently, and one of the most originators of this problem is industrial activities and the agricultural sector worldwide. The carbon dioxide emitted into the air, for instance, is dangerous for the ozone shield, environment and, consequently, humans. The research is essential once it approaches some alternatives to minimize CO2 produced at industrial processes or burning fossil fuels by transforming it into add-valuable products such as fuels, chemicals and plastics. Furthermore, the researchers appointed another process that was still not considered in previous studies on the subject: the possibility of using the captured gas by photosynthesis. As a result, these ways could lead to benefits to Earth and industry. The negative impacts on the environment will be minimized while the industry’s profits arise.

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Corrections

Soyoko.U.
Climate change
This is my first essay here on the OPLingo website and I'd like to improve my writing for an academic test.

Climate change is one of the critical major issues discussed currently, and one two of the most originators substantial causes of this problem is are industrial activities and the agricultural sector worldwide. The carbon dioxide emitted into the air, for instance, is dangerous for endangers the ozone shield, environment and, consequently, humans. The research Research is essential once it approaches some alternatives to finding solutions to minimize CO2 produced at from industrial processes or burning fossil fuels by transforming burned that transform it into add value - valuable added products such as fuels, chemicals and plastics. Furthermore, the researchers have appointed another process that was still not considered in previous studies on the subject : the possibility of had not considered: using the captured gas by via photosynthesis. As a result If implemented , these ways solutions could lead to benefits to benefit the Earth and industry its industries as a result . The negative impacts impact on the environment will would be minimized while the industry’s profits arise continue to rise .
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Comment(s)

Soyoko.U.
I wasn't sure what you entirely meant by the sentence "The research is essential..." It started off sounding like a justification for research then turned into a description of one of the proposed solutions. You should also mention exactly how those solutions could benefit the Earth. Turning CO2 gas into value-added products sounds interesting, but it could also end up harming the environment in the long term by allowing companies to continue to emit the insane amounts that they do. If you're interested in another technological solution, there's the somewhat controversial idea of geoengineering. Although, technological solutions do seem to be unpopular in some circles since it often doesn't solve the root issue.
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Keith.Miller
Climate change
This is my first essay here on the OPLingo website and I'd like to improve my writing for an academic test.

Climate change is one of the critical issues discussed currently, and one of the most originators of this problem is are industrial activities and the agricultural sector worldwide. The carbon dioxide emitted into the air , for instance, is dangerous for the ozone shield, environment , and , consequently , humans. The research Research is essential once it approaches some in order to approach good alternatives to minimize for minimizing the CO2 produced at by industrial processes or and the burning of fossil fuels by transforming it into add-valuable products such as fuels, chemicals and plastics . For example, fuels and plastics can be created in a way that is sustainable . Furthermore , the researchers appointed have determined another process that was still not not yet considered in previous studies on ; the subject: the possibility of using the captured gas capturing gasses by photosynthesis. As a result In summary , all of these ways could lead to benefits to for the Earth and industry. The negative impacts on the environment will might be minimized , while the industry’s profits arise could rise .
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