Write & Correct
English

Best Bud

Like flash of light in a dark night,
that's how you came into my life.
To many, you've caused a fright,
for squeezing in with all your might.
Seeing that little bud
made me really proud.
Until goes away the gloom,
O flower, take your time to bloom.


Posted

Comment(s)

The sparkles then becomes a light if you do not take it as light.The stranger then goes straight , if somebody guide right.
Posted 
Nice one Rai! :)
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Thank you, Charlyn! :) This one's for my son.
Edited 

Corrections

ADMINISTRATOR
leosmith
Best Bud
Like a flash of light in a dark night,
that's how you came into my life.
To many, you've caused a fright,
for squeezing in with all your might.
Seeing that little bud
made me really proud.
Until
away goes away the gloom,
O flower, take your time to bloom.


Posted

Comment(s)

Thanks leosmith. I think that correction down there looks better than the original version.
Posted 
I would recommend using "in the dark night" instead of "in a dark night." Reasoning: when referenced it is a particular event or time instead of being a general instance. Everything aforementioned is referencing to a particular time, which is why I would use "the" instead of "a."
Posted 
Nicholas.Matheson
Best Bud
Like a flash of light in a dark night,
that's how you came into my life.
To many, you've caused a fright,
for squeezing in with all your might.
Seeing that little bud
,
made me really proud.
Until
goes you go away , the gloom,
O flower, take your time to bloom.


Posted

Comment(s)

Thanks a bunch, Nicholas. :)
Posted 
Best Bud
Like a flash of light in on a dark night,
that's how you came into my life.
To many For too long , you've caused a fright , for . For squeezing in with yourself into my life.
With
all your might.
Seeing
that this little bud ,
made me really proud.
Until goes away the gloom
.
Oh
, O flower , take your time to bloom.
Posted
Best Bud
Like a flash of light in a the dark night,
that's how you came into my life.
To Too many, you've caused a fright,
for squeezing in with all your might.
Seeing that little bud
made me
really so proud.
Until
away goes away the gloom,
O flower, take your time to bloom.


Posted

Comment(s)

Just curious why you used "too many" - did you think she meant there were too many buds? I thought she meant "to many people".
Posted 
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